From my observations of human behaviour, I’ve noticed a lot of people struggle with resentment in their lives. Is this something that resonates with you? Do you spend a lot of time getting irritated by things you feel obligated to spend your time on? Well, perhaps there’s a way you can let go of that…
I know, years ago, back when Annie had an office job, she would often work late and feel annoyed about ‘having’ to do it. But her mum once asked her if anyone at the office had actually told her she must do overtime – and the answer was no. Annie was choosing to work long hours, because *she* felt she had to. So there was no reason to resent it as nobody was forcing it on her.
This has also frequently been the case for Annie with other things – like laundry, washing up, exercise – and even writing her novel. She used to spend a lot of time being annoyed by the perceived obligation of having to do certain things on a daily basis, when she would have preferred to be doing other, more enjoyable things.
In recent years, though, she has come to the realisation that she always has a choice about how to spend her time. And you do too! You could ignore the laundry altogether if you wanted to. And you could let the dirty dishes stack up endlessly. You could even give up your job…
But I expect, if you really think about it, you’ll see that you *choose* to keep doing these things for positive reasons. You *want* to have clean clothes to wear, so you wash the ones you’ve already worn. You *want* the kitchen to be tidy, so you wash the dishes, ready to use again. You *want* enough money to support yourself and possibly your family, so you keep going to a job you might not necessarily like all that much.
Trust me – if you can start seeing your obligations in this light, they will start feeling like much less of a burden.
One of Annie’s main mantras in life these days is: “POSITIVE CHOICE”. She always tries to be intentional about how she spends her time and to make positive choices about what she does. When this relates to a household chore or something she’s not very enthusiastic about doing, she focuses on the positive benefits of completing that task, rather than the annoyance at feeling obliged to do it.
This also works for taking breaks and indulging in enjoyable activities you might feel guilty about. If you can see the positive aspects of taking time for yourself, you can fully immerse yourself in whatever you’re doing and really take pleasure in it – then more easily find the motivation to get back to work again afterwards.
Why don’t you give it a try and see if it makes your day feel more enjoyable? If you can find positive reasons for everything you do, I guarantee you’ll feel lighter and less weighed-down by things.
You can email me at email@example.com
You can sign up for my fortnightly newsletter here.
And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram – @wisebearstanley – for cute photos, advice videos and meditation with Moomintroll!
You can also find me on Twitter and Mastodon – @wisebearstanley
And if you want Stanley merch, you can buy it here!