Do you ever find yourself thinking or feeling something that, if you actually take stock and challenge, turns out not to be true at all?

 

And yet your brain or your emotions present it as an instant reaction they subsequently try to convince you must be real?

 

Usually, I find this is because it’s something that used to be true but has changed over time. And, because our brains and emotions can be slow on the uptake when things change, they like to make you assume your first reaction must be the right one.

 

Let me give you an example!

 

Every year, my humans, Annie and Dave, buy a board game for Annie’s brother, which is of the kind where they can meet up once per month and play the same game all year. So, they started a new game in January and it’s fair to say that Annie didn’t really enjoy it much the first couple of times they played.

 

During the next few sessions, though, things changed (there’s that sneaky change going on!) and the next few sessions were much more fun. But, even now, nine months in, every time the day rolls around for her to travel to her brother’s home to play the game, her brain chips in with, “Oh dear – this again. We don’t like this game. Why do we have to schlep all the way to South London to play? We’d much rather stay at home and do something else…”

 

Which isn’t a great attitude to take to the prospect of spending time with awesome people, playing a fun game, is it?

 

Luckily, Annie has realised what’s going on in her brain, so she can challenge that reaction and remind herself that it was only the first couple of games that weren’t that much fun. And there have been six or seven games since that were very enjoyable. So, she hasn’t wimped out on a gaming session yet – and there have been no regrets about going along to play!

 

So, next time your brain or your emotions present you with quite a strong negative reaction to a situation – for example, an upcoming event of any kind or something you think you’re no good at – take a few minutes to review some more recent times when you’ve had something similar going on. Is what your brain is telling you really true? Or is it just being slow to accept a positive change in your circumstances? Look at the evidence and see for yourself!

 

Don’t forget to let me know how you get on, or if there’s anything in your life you’d like my thoughts on!

 

You can email me at wisebearstanley@gmail.com

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