Contrary Brain

I’ve been meaning to write this blog post for some time but haven’t got around to it until now. That’s partly because I’ve been very busy with editing work and my own writing, but also because my attitude to the planned subject matter is still shifting (so much so that I just changed the title of the post to something else).


I injured my thumb a few weeks ago, so I’ve been trying to rest it and not type as much, which has meant a certain amount of enforced rest from writing the novel. And, of course, as soon as I was physically unable to write it, I really wanted to! Brains are nothing if not contrary…


I’m still making good progress and also managing to fit in writing a new novella with an ambitious deadline, which could have encroached on novel-writing time if I’d let it. And the words are flowing well on both.


I was enthused by a conversation with my editor last week and committed to getting the novel to her before the end of July – which is eminently doable at current rate of progress. But of course, as soon as I sent the email confirming the deadline, my motivation entirely died and it all started to seem like an onerous chore again.


Damn my contrary brain!


Then, today, I started a new schedule of ‘working’ four mornings per week, instead of three ‘full’ days, with a view to freeing up my afternoons for fun activities with my husband, while he’s not working.


I got up fairly early, powered through all my client work and then decided to give the novel and the novella a rest for the day, since trying to fit them in would have put me under undue pressure. There’s a buffer built into both schedules, so missing a day is fine – plus, I have additional time slots where I can catch up on ‘non-working’ days if I start to slip behind.


So, of course, during my afternoon meditation class (after getting back from a longer-than-expected and much muddier-than-expected caching expedition), the subconscious crew turned up with a ton of new ideas for the next novella scene. Contrary brain yet again! To be fair to the crew, I had set them the task the night before of coming up with a tone of new ideas for the next novella scene at some point today – so they were only doing what I’d asked!


I guess, at the end of the day, this is life as a writer. As I often say, writing is the thing I most want to do with my time. And also the thing I least want to do with my time…


I’m incredibly lucky, in that I have a writing-adjacent job I love, which gives me the flexibility to basically spend whatever time I want (or feel motivated to do) on my own writing. So why is it still so damn hard!


I blame my contrary brain…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.