I’ve had a few conversations with friends recently about the unhelpful ways in which our brains work. I mean – why are brains, anyway…?

 

In the particular instance relating to this blog post, I’m talking about patterns of behaviour when it comes to freelance work.

 

I talk about the freelance rollercoaster a lot – the lack of predictability, the feast or famine aspect, the constantly not knowing where the next project is coming from – or, indeed, if.

 

And I really don’t think the human brain is very well equipped to deal with that level of uncertainty. It’s coming up on four years since I started freelancing, and I’m better at coping with the anxiety and panic than I was at the beginning.

 

I still find it hard to say no to projects if they don’t pay quite enough or they don’t really align with what I want to be doing. But I’ve definitely got better at not actually pitching for those jobs in the first place, so it’s not an issue I’ve been facing as much.

 

One of the problems I used to have was in managing to do anything productive at all when I don’t have much paid work on the schedule. I always find it easier to carve out time and focus on my own creative pursuits when I have a reasonable amount of paid editing to do as well.

 

I tend to work on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, doing my client work in the morning and then generally progressing quite naturally into my own writing in the afternoons (massively helped by online focus sessions on Monday and Tuesday, and co-working plans in London on Thursday).

 

Usually, then, if I don’t have much paid work on, my routine goes out the window and I start failing to do anything at all, mostly just worrying about whether I’ll ever get any paid work ever again. So, when more work does come in, I’m immediately massively motivated to get on with it, very relieved, and grateful to have paying work I enjoy.

 

So far in 2025, I haven’t had as much work as I’d prefer, and I’ve actually had several weeks where I haven’t been working at all. And, unusually, instead of flobbing around doing nothing, I’ve instead been doing quite a lot of my own writing – and, even more unusually, actually enjoying it!

 

What this has meant is that my brain has slipped into a very dangerous pattern, where I find myself not wanting more work (despite really needing the money…). I’ve been much more selective in my pitching (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing) and almost resentful of new projects taking time away from my own writing. Which isn’t great!

 

Obviously, when work has come in, I haven’t been turning it away – and I’ve certainly been ensuring I dedicate the time and attention it needs for me to provide a high level of service to my clients.

 

But I’ve really been struggling to maintain what I consider to be my ‘normal’ routine and my preferred level of activity. Brains, eh?